We all start a conversation in our brain when we’re alone on getting ideas, important decisions or interpreting any situation.
At times, this can actually be helpful when we need to improve in every term. However, often it becomes pretty mean when we embark on serious negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk is the worst thing you can do to your mental health. It convinces you to believe that you’re not good enough and limits your true potential to live the life you really want.
Paying attention to your negative thoughts and feelings can lead to terrible depression or anxiety and does untold damage in a very powerful manner.
Though, for a more positive view of yourself and a fulfilled and happier life, this is clearly not the road to drive. We all have our down moments, but for others to think positively about us, we need to think good about ourselves first.
To help you out, here are the effective ways to stop negative self-talk and silent that nagging voice in your head to become grateful for who you are:
Catch your negative triggers
In order to stop negative self-talk, the very first exercise is to try to recognize when you’d get caught in negative self-dialogues.
Take a few deep breaths and begin to listen to how you talk to yourself. Much of our thinking is so quick and automatic that we barely notice and understand it.
By making conscious attention to thoughts as objective, you’ll be able to know which are productive and useful and which are unrealistic, just to scare you.
In fact, the easiest way for this is to observe your mood swings. The bad mood means, there’s something wrong in your head. Or, simply note down these thoughts and keep track of it to get a broader idea.
Self-awareness allows you to catch yourself in self-criticism act, so chances are more you can work towards hushing it.
Find the root cause
Many times, such thoughts and emotions come up as a response or judgement to the situation or people. While on other times, it’s just a freaky bubble pop into your head.
For example, after having a really hard relationship, you think like: “Maybe I am not that much good to be in a great relationship” or “You fear that your boss might be calling you to fire you for the mistake you did last week.”
Just because you think something doesn’t make it real. Sometimes, they’re the repetitions of our own opinions we’ve internalized or what we’ve been told.
Take a time to evaluate from where these thoughts are coming and why you’re feeling so. Cross-check the accuracy of your thinking by asking these questions:
What is the proof of my thinking? Or this is just my interpretations? Are these thoughts are only my beliefs? Is this worth dwelling on?
Here the aim is to identify that your brain’s assumptions and conclusions aren’t always right. Thus, you’ll be less affected by thoughts that liable to raise unpleasant emotions or behavior.
Play crazy nickname game
You would not tell anything harsh to your close friends, do you? So why you’re being unfair with yourself doing nonsense talks inside?
Beat your inner critic by becoming a friend of it and when you see yourself stuck in negativity, imagine you’re saying this to a good friend.
Often we say things to ourselves in mind that we’d never want to say to a friend and this helps to shift your negative self-talk into more general conversation.
Furthermore, giving that inside narrator a funny name allows us to see a fair view of the real problem. This way, it will not only become easy for you to clearly see how stupid some of your thoughts are but also becomes less threatening.
Treat your inner voice as a friend and it will never able to criticize you anymore!
Embrace your Flaws
Like the rest of all people, you too have the right to make mistakes, have flaws and not be perfect or smart about everything. Not everyone is without flaws in this world.
When we place high standards on ourselves, we open a room for negative self-talk. Our own unrealistic expectations leave us with anger, grudges and shame.
Though, understand that you can’t do all things right and your weaknesses and flaws are usually not as big as your mind shows to you.
Every little achievement is a huge deal for you. Admire it. So what if that single job interview didn’t go as you have hoped. At least you get a chance to face it.
Accept your imperfections, figure out why you hate them and do positive efforts for their improvement.
When we redefine the actual joy in embracing our flaws, it’ll not hard to live beyond perfection.
Put different outlook of things
Remember, the negative self-talk is a downward spiral of thoughts, enough to convince you that all you have is worst and no wonderful things are there in life.
Agree, it’s hard to forget the painful pasts and even harder to ignore the pain you got from those experiences. But, looking at things with different standpoints can make you realize how there can be still good at something miserable.
Look around and notice what is positive in your life and what you’ve to be grateful for. Ask if:
- Whatever making me upset is going to be matter in the next 6 months?
- Is the situation as bad as I am making out to be?
- Is there anything good about this situation?
Learn to reframe the situation in which you’re in by genuinely looking at both sides of it and develop a more practical outlook.
For instance, in case if the person is rude to you, instead of saying “Am I not a good person?” why not consider “Possibly the person is suffering from his own issues so he’s reacting this way.”
Replace with positive, constructive ones
Even if you able to find yourself engaging in negative self-talk, It’s just tough to immediately stop that looping pattern running in your mind.
Though, it’s easier to change or replace your thinking with positive, neutral and more constructive ones. For example, rather than beating yourself for being chubby, you can consider “I’d like to lose a few pounds and I know how to do it.”
However, it happens once in a while where the whole world seems dark to you. But, no matter how much you’re gloomy, take a pause, raise yourself up and adopt a positive attitude.
Don’t force your thoughts to say positive, you’ll end up feeling worse as it’s a long repetitive habit so need time to change.
Instead, practice small and positive affirmations like, “I do have a house and a lovely family with me”, “I am happy, healthy and beautiful” daily. Daily gratitude is the best way to develop more positive thinking.
The more you replace negative with productive and positive, the more you’ll make self-talk more sensible to reach your greatest potential.
Talk out loud
Never be afraid to talk out loud to a family or friend you trust the most. Sharing your thought and feelings to someone can give you the proper sense of a weak state.
Don’t let your disappointments, anger or depression be locked inside. Sometimes speaking out the things shed light upon how unfair and silly our comments are.
It brings our loved ones’ support to make us feel better and worthy. And if that’s not possible or you don’t have such a person, simply saying them loudly when alone can also be equally peaceful.
So every time you catch yourself in negative thinking, say the words out loud “I don’t want to waste my time on thinking this”. Must try!
Practice and build a good routine
Surround yourself by the positive atmosphere to motivate you and feel better about yourself. Know what can help you to lift your inner-self and get things rolling.
It can be anything that cheers up your mood, whether it’s a motivational video, calming music, meditation, yoga or hang out with family or friends.
The best way to get over the negative self-talk is to build a good daily routine. You can start your day with exercise benefits, preparing a healthy breakfast and making notes on what to achieve by the end of the day.
This way you confirm that things get done on time, hence not overthinking or get trapped in the brain’s notions.
Freaky Thought’s upshot
So, how do you feel about yourself every day? Does it feel you are not worthy, pretty or good enough or you just feel great for who you are?
Understand, self-talk is an inside thing and is an ongoing struggle that needs efforts to change. Negative self-talk usually puts you in a self-loathing state that stops you from pursuing the life you truly want.
In fact, these inner conversations should be for self-improvement and heartening so that you focus on learning something new from every experience.
The easiest lasting and fastest way to shut up your self-babble is to commit to making changes and believe you deserve kind words for yourself.
Applying the above ways to stop negative self-talk will empower you to manage your inner self-critic in a way where it’ll have no influence on you anymore.
If you truly want to live a life full of self-belief, confidence and positive outlook, take action now!