11 secrets of how to stay positive when life gets tough and unfair

Life is hardly a fairytale as we like it. In fact, we all go through ups and downs, and as a human being, it’s necessary to accept both with a positive attitude.

Though, it becomes really hard to stay positive when life gets tough. Maybe it’s heartbreak, financial issues, other people or simply you feel low and tired.

Sometimes we feel to be on top and on the second moment life knocks us down so bad that we feel we’re never going to get up again.

However, while it’s easy to be dragged in negativity during tough times, it’s important to not lose hope and confidence that everything will be better one day.

I know it’s easy to say than done. But, learning how to stay positive is the only way for a happy, healthy and optimistic life and you have to apply it.

Here are some secrets of how to stay positive to lift yourself up when life gets unfair to you:

Hold for a while and re-think

think again

No matter how bad the situation is, there is always something good about it and to actively look for that good, you need to hold and re-think your thoughts.

Reacting to unfavorable situations in a negative way can make it even worse than solving it. Saying “why this happened to me” comes only from concentrating on the problem instead of looking for solutions.

Therefore, when you feel like life has turned against you, take a step back and look to the problem as an object.

This way you’ll be able to consciously and calmly choose the attitude to make the problems better and can embrace the positive attitude towards it.

Tell yourself “this too shall pass” because nothing is permanent in life, not even difficult times. It’s just our perceptions that make it negative or positive.

Always remember, only bad experiences make you praise the good times. So stop playing a victim role, you can turn everything unpleasant in your life into something pleasant!

Express what you feel

express your feelings

Sometimes the situation is not as bad as we think it is. But, our thoughts keep building inside our mind and make it terrible for us.

When we hold these feelings inside, we lose our peace and become depressed and frustrated. Though, it’s better to talk it out what you’re going through.

Express what you feel to someone you trust who can understand and help you to get out of it and motivate you to stay positive in it.

Usually, we tend to see things from our own perspective and talking to a good friend can gain a new point of view to put you back in a positive direction.

Furthermore, getting things off your chest gives you great relief and might be this is your first step towards being positive!

Accept and move on

accept and let go

One way how to stay positive is to accept what has happened even though you’re not agreeing with it.

Realize that things don’t go the way you’ve planned always, but the universe is knowing that this is for the good reformation of your life.

Better you accept the problems and people who are out of control and move on. There is only one thing in your hand is to change yourself and your thinking.

Learn lessons from past experience, let go of resentment and just go with the flow. That is how life works. No one’s life is perfect. Everybody has their own problems and the best part – time heals everything.

Understand, time runs. So focus on your personal growth, live in the now. Don’t waste it on going mad by overthinking.

Learn gratitude

learn gratitude

The key to a blissful life is being grateful for what you have and not be dissatisfied with what you don’t. This is how to stay positive when life kicks you hard.

While it’s easy to spend time stressing your head over the things that went wrong, you must realize we still have so much to be grateful for.

I know, it’s hard to see good over bad when the problems become truly unbearable. However, it’s upon you to choose inner happiness regardless of what’s happening outside.

No day is perfect and we’re going to face obstacles in our way. In that, it’s important to train our mind to see only good things however small they may be.

Prepare a gratitude journal to note down the things you’re grateful for every morning. You’ll eventually create a positive mindset and ability to attract more blessings.

As the key is to focus on benefits than problems, never overlook the benefits of a thankful heart

Consider problems and criticism as opportunities

how to stay positive

Let’s face it. All of us have problems. However, what differentiates positive people from the negative ones is how they approach their difficulties.

Possible that you sit and cry for the financial issues you got or take it as an opportunity to learn and make it better. After all, the choice is yours, always.

Similarly, criticism can also be a bit distressing. Though, if you consider it as a way to improve yourself, it won’t hurt.

Calm down and think thoroughly before you reply to criticism. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you but the person hitting criticism is not feeling so good and behave like this.

Don’t make a minor problem the big one by stretching it. Take a deep breath and refocus on the grounded perspective of the situation to stop your mind from spinning over the downsides.

The more you take setbacks as a challenge to build a better version of yourself, the no more it’ll be a barrier to hold you back.

Suggested Read: Stop worrying about what others think of you

Don’t compare

don't compare

It seems easy to stare at someone’s life and think about how smooth their life is going.  That’s pretty silly. No matter how it seems perfect, they may be busy fighting their own battles.

Because everyone has a different question paper, it’s not right to compare your life with others. You don’t have anyone’s life. You have your own, unique life.

Comparing means disrespecting the beautiful life you’ve got and not praising all the good you have.

Even though you may be facing tough times, don’t compare. Instead, think of the people who have a much difficult life than you. This may give you the inspiration to help others to feel good inside.

Moreover, stay away from social media stories. It may happen that only the reel life is happy, not real.

Whether twists or turns, it’s your life, only you have to decide how to live it, positive or negative.

Live the positivity

live the positivity

Not only your thoughts, but your actions also have the power to change you into a positive person during difficult times.

Imagine you’re continuously saying “why this happened to me?” or “why me?”, then how can you expect your mind to look for positive answer?

Speaking positive words can turn the situation around and benefits you with a positive outlook on it.

Additionally, if you’re in a pessimistic atmosphere, you’re not going to be positive ever. An environment essentially influences the way you think, speak and react. A negative environment brings negativity only.

Live the positivity by surrounding yourself with positive people who can help you to be happy and move forward on rainy days.

Also, choose carefully who you spend your time with and the input you get from TV, internet or other stuff since they have strong impact to shape your thoughts.

Take care of your health

Take care of Your health

When we stuck in inferior trouble, we overeat unhealthy foods, don’t get enough sleep and lock ourselves into the house. Happened ever?

A healthy body can easily boost positivity and optimism in life. For this reason, taking care of your health is vital even if you don’t feel like doing it.

Make exercise a habit even for 15- minutes. Or, you can do yoga or meditation to relax and shift your mental strength from negative thoughts to being fit.

The research even found that physical activity helps you to fight depression and makes the mood better.

Furthermore, healthy eating and good sleep are said to be associated with focus, productivity and positive emotions. Hence, when you don’t have enough of it, you feel tired, sick and unclear with the thoughts.

Your body is where you have to live, don’t leave it unnoticed.

Do what make you happy

listen to music

While facing adverse situations, you often forget to smile. Try to steal a few happy moments by indulging in whatever puts a smile on your face.

A simple step on how to stay positive in negative circumstances is to find a way to unwind and serenity so that you can get out of your head for a while.

Take yourself outdoors in the lap of nature. Sometimes, to get back on track, it’s nice to move away from the present environment and cherish a walk with a good friend in good weather.

Pack your bags, travel to get fresh air and experience new things. If going out is not an option, you can find a way to relax in the home itself.

If you love the music, grab your earbuds and listen to the music you enjoy. A piece of good music can be an inspiration for you to develop positivity.

Take a warm bath, read a good book, dress up well or be with your family and friends for being positive and less stressed.

Everything that makes you smile, is a treat itself!

Follow your dreams

follow your dreams

Do you feel excited about the next morning or feel worried and boring about your life and not sure what to do with it?

The answer says everything. Without knowing the purpose of life, you don’t go anywhere and run aimlessly like always.

The goals are to motivate you and keeps you going in a proper direction with a clear vision to make living better.

It’s required to have a passion in life to stay positive and not being affected by whatever comes in a way to beat you.

Imagine the type of person you want to become either physically, mentally, professionally or spiritually and work to make it happen.

If it’s your job robbing your happiness and you can’t switch it, voluntarily join a class to learn something new or help people with their sufferings.

Giving helping hands or learning different makes people happier from inside and help them to find their way to positivity.

Have faith

have faith

Just because it’s raining and you can’t see anything, doesn’t mean bright days are never going to come. Everything happens for a reason and happy days are there in the future, just be patient.

Things happen to us for the benefit of ourselves, have faith. Worrying only destroys our ability to useful thinking. Most of our fears are just nightmares that are never going to be true.

True, there will definitely be moments when you don’t know what’s stored in the future because the present is so cloudy.

However, keep moving with faith and soon things will be clear. You’ll reach where you should be. The good is always there, no matter how nasty the vision is.


A negative approach is normal in bad situations, but overcoming is a sign of inner strength. Being positive doesn’t mean you don’t feel pain, it’s just you understand that it will not last forever.

Nearly everyone goes through the circumstances where they feel things will never change. Though, knowing that even if you don’t have answers to your problems, they’ll pass, genuinely helps.

Change your perceptions from negative to positive by applying these secrets of how to stay positive with whatever life throws your way.

Believe that this is a passing phase only and good things are waiting for you.  Never let the tough times defeat you. Keep your outlook positive and you’ll be back to yourself, again!