If you’re the person like me, you may be constantly worrying about what others think of you. You want others to like you and feel stressed when someone don’t.
To be sure, humans are social beings. So, it’s normal to think about fitting in other’s group, trust and keep an eye on how we affect others.
But, we do mistake when we make the opinions of others a focal point and disvalue ourselves. We become judgmental for ourselves keeping others in mind.
Furthermore, too much concern about what others think can make us people pleasure and we doubt our self-worth and ideas. We often lose our confidence in managing things.
We wake up every morning and start living the life what others like, not the way we want.
Am I looking stupid enough?
Do they accept my opinion?
If not, am I doing any mistakes?
What if I speak in public and people laugh?
I am overweight, what other will think?
In every way, we hold back our capability and performance with the fear of people’s opinions.
Remember, we can feel ashamed or embarrassed based on other’s perceptions – even they are wrong.
What I think why we care too much about others?
I was the same, anxious and scared about what other think of me. What I dress up, how I eat, where I go, whom I talk, everybody watching me, etc. I have started losing my decision making capability.
What I learnt in my ways to stop worrying on all of this is, we fear the social disapproval. We’ve been taught to act and stay in certain way from our childhood.
Usually, when we try to please people, we do the things that we really don’t like.
We always demand verification of ourselves from other, not realizing we are losing our talents, beliefs and self-worth. This type of mental stress can make you doubt on your existence
In that process, you lose the true charm that makes you “you”.
We care about other’s opinions, decisions much more than us only when we don’t value ourselves enough.
In discussion, you may often surrender your point of view, just assuming that may be rejected. However, that should not be the case!
The social media
Basically, social media has introduced new competition of modern world. Everyone can see how many friends they have, how many likes they got and what people do in their daily lives.
Our struggle is to maintain those so called “Likes” and our social status that everybody wants to get.
Whenever we see any update on it, we seek the same kinda dress, a vacation and/or attention, forgetting we are also different in our own way.
Don’t allow someone else to decide how you feel about yourself
When we handover our power in someone’s hand, we start losing who wereally are. Don’t allow someone else to decide how you feel about yourself.
In putting others at first and craving praise, make us open for taking advantage.
Frankly speaking, there is no chance that everyone likes you, neither you like everybody. Actually, no one really cares.
Only you need to understand your self-worth and build up enough confidence to stand out for anything.
How to stop worrying about what others think of you
Well, that’s easy to say and difficult to apply. But, I can say that as I have figured out and dealt with it.
Most of us spend too much time and energy in feeding others expectations. Life with this constant fear of criticism is not good for your overall health.
What we can do then? We can learn to kick out those imaginary thoughts out of our life. Sounds good, isn’t it?
Read out how you can stop worrying about what others think of you (and that’s how I have overcome):
Keep in mind, Nobody really cares
That’s really true. Nobody really cares. After all, we’re not public figure I guess and not so special like those of celebrities.
In fact, they are busy with their own insecurities that they may not even noticed what you did.
Honestly, people has their own things enough to occupy their mind. So it’s baseless to worry about what the person you’ll meet will think of you. What if they thinking the same?
Ultimately, the cycle keeps going. Let me give you one my good trick.
Imagine you’re walking through a street and suddenly you slip. People started laughing at you, now?
Simple, you also start laughing with them. Not only, they think on laughing at you, but will eventually like your free behavior.
Keep in mind, the more you’ll stay free, the less you care and get affected by other’s behavior.
Accept that people can have different opinions
Oh common, I trust you, I think you are right! – Is it what you do every time? With yourself?
Let me tell you, it’s not good to change your inner opinion just for someone to like you. Accept that people can have different opinions.
Sometimes, people’s opinion is not really on your beliefs or actions, but on theirs. And even if we assume that they are judging us, are you able to control this?
No, not at all. Then why worry?
It’s possible they might be giving a passing thought about your opinion. So, memorize this useful mantra: “listen to everyone, but do what you want to do”.
Make sure people are always changing, and so their opinions.
Challenge your overthinking
Overthinking is said to be a silent poison that can make us weak by how we think and live. It leads you to thinking for the case that don’t even bother.
Keep the mind away from over analyzing the situation and immediately reach to conclusion. That’s not going to help you anyway.
Question yourself when you discover the negative thoughts in mind and worrying about what others think rather than engaging in pleasing everyone.
Ask the question to yourself: Are these people that much important to me? Do you really want their opinions?
If not, then why to worry? Just ignore them. They aren’t your loved ones or well-wishers.
If it matters, then understand the fact behind the opinion. If you feel it’s worth it then accept it. And, if not, then read second point again!
Listen to your inner soul
What you are is what you are. No one is going to replace you. Just because someone judge you or pass a comment of you doesn’t mean that’s right.
Listen to your inner soul what it feels about you and what it says to you. Don’t be dependent on others to give you an approval of what you think or do.
Avoid asking verification on every small decision you make. If you don’t want to relay on people, then you need to stop seeking their approvals. It’s quite simple!
What do you think? – a terrible question that may not give you actual, helpful suggestions. Hold a breath, I am not saying don’t ask, just change the way to ask.
It should not seem like you have doubt on your opinions or thoughts, just be specific what you describe and reasons why you believe so.
For example, I have this opinion because of this reason, do you have any better opinion?
Think twice on it, if it’s worthy, you’ll get a jackpot. If not, then get back to step 2!
While overthinking is a poison, positivity is the great healing.
It’s very easy to care about what others think when the “inside you” don’t feel great about yourself. If someone talks negative about you that doesn’t mean you are less important.
Take all the negative vibes off and do the things that brings joy naturally to you.
Dancing, swimming, art – anything that engage you in productive manner. This way, you’ll have less time in worrying and you’ll be a free bird!
Be with people who truly knows you and loves you that makes you feel grateful of what you have. The people that appreciate you for being you are truly helpful to overcome all of this thoughts.
Break the “safe” guard
We can’t grow by staying in safe environments. Even a small plant faces hot sun rays and heavy rainy days, still manage to grow and give us green veggies and fruits to eat.
For once, try to put your thoughts in front of others. Keep the fear of disapproval aside and see what truly matters to you.
Go for it and see the effect. Just think that if this really matters to me, I’ll try it. If they accept, that’s great.
If they disapprove, then don’t let it affect you. Again, see point number two…J
Instead of being afraid of reactions, accept them.
Keep in mind that your inner peace is more important than their response.
Understand, you can’t be perfect
You need to understand that you can’t be perfect for everyone, everywhere. No one is perfect in this world.
Rather than, you should keep improving yourself that the past you. That will be the perfect growth you can achieve.
You can be a better person than you used to be. Otherwise, in someone’s story you always remain a devil.
I know, you think if I’ll get the things right, I’ll be loved and appreciated. But does that really work?
You can’t be always right and perfect. Once you have done one thing wrong and people will remember the wrong, not the all rights you did.
Better to continue growing individually and let go of perfection, right?
It’s not your business
Remember, you can’t please everyone you meet. If you do something better for one, another will take you wrong and vice versa.
People can sense the desired of you to be liked. And they can be playful to your mind and thoughts. Don’t do this to yourself.
After all, what others think of you is not in your control. They’re going to think what they have to think. So, why stress yourself over something you can’t control?
Usually, people build opinions of others based on past experiences they had. However, people don’t remain same as past.
Normally, you try to see the differences and make your own opinion about the person based on people you met previously. In other words, you just filter out them.
But if the person is treating you well, then it’s not your business to see what they think of you. Let it be. It’s their point of view, you should not be affected.
Learn self-care and self-love
Above all this, first, you have to learn to accept yourself the way you are. You should start loving yourself.
If you won’t love and accept yourself, how do you defend from the thoughts of unworthy, unnoticed, unloved and many more of them?
When you make space for love and acceptance, you’ll get to know that what other say and think of you has nothing to do with you, instead everything to do with them.
Remind yourself every day that how much you love this version of you. Focus on yourself and accept the way you are, improving day by day.
Remember, you’re equally important like others. Although the roles are different, doesn’t mean you’re not valuable.
Practice self-love and self-care every day. Tell yourself that you’re priceless for your own people.
People do lot of things to learn this. I personally do yoga, exercise and walking along nature. Other than this, creative things, outdoor games and taking a break from work will also do the trick.
Life is too short to worry
The thing is life is too short to worry what others think of us. We got only this one life so why to waste it in worrying about anybody that don’t even matter in our lives.
Live a life that you love and won’t regret. Don’t make a race in pleasing everyone. That won’t happen.
Focus on your well-being, mental peace and goals. Try hard to achieve them. Do whatever make you happy to live the life you ever wanted.
I understand, we all have different worries at different stages. But what I say is do not allow them to hold you back from doing things you love.
Always keep yourself at first priority. Remember, life is too short.
In the end, I just want to say that changes never happen overnight. It takes lot more effort in doing it.
Regular practice of positive thinking, self-care and self-love gives you a happy and peaceful life.
In that journey, if you ever feel that you started worrying about other’s opinions, just read this post again and again. Keep in mind that everyone feeling the same way you feel. It’s a non-ended cycle.
Everyone is perfect and unique in their own way. So instead focusing on other’s talk, focus on yourself, your inner growth. Stay true to yourself, listen yourself, have faith in your opinions and everything else is just none of your business!