In certain aspect of our life we need opinions of others just to be sure if we are on right track or not. It’s very normal as we, humans are social creatures. But, caring too much about what other people think also should not be the case.
We stop doing things we like because we fear rejection, embarrassment, laugh and disapproval. Rejection is somewhat like death to us. So we rarely oppose in argument, need appreciation and attention.
Constantly seeking approval from other makes us reliable on them for every decision of our life. And, we stop living our life on our values and allow people to control it.
By daily practice, you can stop other’s opinions and criticism affecting you. I have included the way to stop worrying about what others think of you in my article.
However, before that it’s important to recognize that do you really care about what people think of you?
Stay alert, as these 10 signs will tell you if you or your dear ones has this side of personality:
1. You’re afraid to stay true to yourself
This is the common sign when we care too much about what others think. you change the way you think, the movie you like, the food you eat, the clothes you wear, in short everything.
In other words, you always see yourself through other’s eyes. Every time you do something and curious on what others will think, then probably you’re at low self-esteem.
If the comments from others keeps running in your mind and threaten you, you constantly try to figure out what should be done to make them like me, instead listening to your inner voice.
You try hard to hide your true-self from everyone and don’t stay true to yourself. And, that affects every point of your life.
2. “I’m sorry” is the word even when you’re not at fault
How many times you apologizing for things you haven’t done? Or you have apologized for things you really like?
If you’re the blame accepting and apologizing for no mistakes, then you may worry if someone disown you or criticize you.
We feel guilty when the things go wrong even we’re not at fault at all. Therefore, we apologize for the mistake that we have not did.
We take all bad results on ourselves just because we don’t want others to be disappointed. And by doing so, we can be a good person in their eyes.
Asking apology is fine and shows empathy when you made a real mistake and regret it, not when you’re totally innocent.
3. You can’t say NO
This is your weakness in a race of getting praised by people. You can’t say “NO” to people. Saying “NO” is equally important as saying “YES”.
See, you can say “NO” for what you don’t feel OK and it’s your right. You have to learn how to say it.
Many people ask you to do a favor and suddenly jump into your life as a part of it whom you never wanted to be.
And, you never say “NO” to them as you don’t want to disappoint them or you think that’s your job to make them happy.
Look, “YES” and “NO” both need to be said at right time. Rather than thinking of what they think or do, listen to your heart and fearlessly say “NO”. You’re not here to please everyone. OK?
4. You don’t feel good until you get approval
Everywhere around the world, it seems like individual’s happiness is depends on other people.
One doesn’t feel proud until he gets praised by someone. If you don’t feel good about yourself, then perhaps this is a different story.
It’s really good when you get congratulated for something you did great. But, if you live in an emotional rollercoaster where your joy is based on people’s judgement, you’ve got a problem of self-confidence.
You should be proud for the unbelievable weight loss you attain; goal you have reached or work completed before deadlines.
Even though you seek feedback that helps you to grow, taking their comments personally raise a question in your mind that you’re not good enough.
The feeling of being uncomfortable in your new dress until someone react positively on that shows you need confirmation about yourself.
Because of this behavior, you’ll always find it difficult to make your own decisions, even the smallest ones.
The single thought running in your mind is what if things go wrong if I don’t listen what everybody has to say on this decision.
Self-confidence comes from within. Always build a healthy relationship with yourself than looking for others to praise you.
5. “Perfectionism” is what you aim
Are you trying to do everything right at right time? Do you worry too much about what you said will affect how on others?
May be “Perfectionism” is what you aim. Attempting perfection is like catching the moving target in a round wheel which is unattainable.
You just make sure that things go right in perfect way, to make people admire you, love you. And, if it’s not, according to you, it’s your fault.
Striving for better you is a good practice for soul, but perfectionism originates from fear – fear of rejection.
I am not saying don’t do good and right, but at least keep in mind no one is perfect and so you can’t be too. You can be better version of yourself than you were yesterday.
That’s what you can do. Sometimes, people just repeat the conversation in their mind to make sure they didn’t say anything so funny.
6. You fail to represent your true opinions
Speaking your own mind should not be neglected just because another person has better thoughts than you.
Many people failed to represent their true opinions in their point of life. Whether it’s job, relationships or friends, the fear of criticism always scares you.
Hold on, I am not suggesting to speak every thought of you. This will be rude to people though.
However, representing your true opinions on something when it’s actually needed is not at all a bad idea.
For example, in meeting, your boss asked everyone to share ideas on company’s improvement, then definitely you should speak.
If something is not right with your relationship, you both can discuss your thoughts on this.
Don’t put other’s opinion at priority just to keep them at priority. You have your own voice. Speak it up.
7. Other’s at your priority
When you care too much about what other people think, you’ll end up keeping others at priority than yourself.
This applies in every situation of your life. You may fear: what if they reject me? What if they consider me selfish?
You always worry about their thinking. You keep taking their need as priority in order to make them happy.
It’s good nature to not be selfish, but giving all of yourself to fulfill their expectation is not worth it. You’ll more likely to lose yourself in forcefully avoiding yours value.
Take care of yourself enough. You’ll be more able to help others by keeping yourself at priority.
You are important. You have right to think of yourself when needed.
8. You try to read people’s mind
Is there any way to read people’s mind? As I know, there is none. What they are thinking you can’t control them.
While trying hard to read people’s mind, we play with our own mind and make it worse for ourselves.
You remain in circular thought of whether your action or talk landed right on them. Do they thinking of me right now? Are they talking about me?
Most of us waste our time in worrying about nothing. Better you directly ask them. This will save you from going mad on trying to read people’s mind.
9. You doubt on your abilities and interests
“I like movies” – He said. “yeah, I too like movies.” – you say even you don’t.
The effort of changing your own hobbies and interest is the sign you worry too much on what others will think of you.
Even you apologize for your interest thing saying, “yeah I play carom, but that’s so childish!”.
Unfortunately, we put aside our interests if they are not accepted by others. Hold the things that make you happy. it’s important to do the fun activities that lighten up your soul.
At work, in relationship, between friends, you always doubt your ability to do something great.
In plays, at work, in relationships, you always find people who make you doubt on your abilities. If you continue to listen their comments, you’ll not be able to do anything.
Believe in yourself. You can do anything with hard work and positive attitude. No one stops you and neither you should in caring about other’s comments.
10. You become people-pleaser
Putting your happiness aside to make others happy is a peple-pleasing attitude. In this world, mostly everyone fear of what society will think?
To fit in social environment, you try your best to change your plans, your likes, dislikes, thinking – in fact, your whole personality.
You choose their opinions over you. “that may be good opinion” – you think, compromising true opinion you know.
Also, whenever you know you’ll be not accepted, you start telling lies. This is about everything that you like and others not.
Are you sure you can please everyone? Even though you do the things for happiness of others, few will always be there who don’t like you.
The thing is: “when you struggle in pleasing everyone, you’ll please no one”. No need to impress others. Just be you.
In the End
Caring too much about what other people think only affects your “true you” and will give you stress. Understand, you can’t control over them.
It makes you feel inferior and lower from within. This leads to disappointment with ourselves.
If these signs define you, then it’s time to stop worrying about what others think. We should proud of who we are. Our success and happiness should not be condition to other’s thinking!